Because They Smell Good: Why We Fall in Love with Fictional CharactersOctober 18, 2009 at 4:18 PM | Posted in Uncategorized | 43 Comments
Having just finished re-reading The Hunger Games, I’m currently in love with Gale.
This got me thinking about all the characters I’ve fallen in love with over the years – specifically the male ones. Living in Hicksville as I do, there’s a serious lack of tolerable boys around here. Fictional boys have become my saviours until university.
But it’s gotten to the point that I’m beginning to think real-life boys will never be able to compete with the likes of Gale, Edward, Jacob, and Mr. Darcy – not to mention my own characters and all those delightful Love Interests I’ve seen in the twifties’ snippets.
Just think about it. There are some serious upsides to fictional boys.
1) They never smell bad, even after trekking through forests and battling evil creatures for several weeks without bathing. They might smell like sweat, but that is a pleasantly masculine smell, not the acrid reek of BO.
2) Contrarily, they don’t try to drown themselves and everybody in the near vicinity with Axe.
3) They always look nice. Even if they’re supposedly average looking, or, as in point 1, have been doing things like slogging through sewers and surviving sand storms, they still look perfectly gorgeous in your mind’s eye. They never need to pluck their eyebrows, trim their nose hair, or wax their backs.
4) They never seem to take an inordinate amount of pleasure in bodily functions. In fact, they may not even have bodily functions. If they do, they must be very discreet about it, because no one ever seems to notice.
5) On that note, they never ask you to pull their finger.
6) They don’t scratch themselves in public.
7) And they don’t burp and ask you to guess what they ate for lunch.
8) They can carry on intelligent, witty conversations and don’t consistently reply with monosyllabic words.
9) Their skills are not limited to opening pickle jars and playing WoW for sixteen hours straight.
10) Some of them sparkle.
Of course, the downside is, being fictional and all, they’re rather intangible and are typically already smitten with someone else anyway. But up here in Hicksville that’s a minor detail, even if we all know I wouldn’t stand a chance against Katniss should the opportunity arise. ;)
And so I ask you, what fictional character(s) have you fallen in love with? Who contradicts something on this list? And what have I forgotten to add?
Off to start reading Catching Fire, now! *excited squeal* Tootaloo!
– Becca Cooper (AKA Elusive)